{"id":512,"date":"2024-11-11T10:21:20","date_gmt":"2024-11-11T10:21:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/?post_type=episode_posts&p=512"},"modified":"2024-11-15T14:52:09","modified_gmt":"2024-11-15T14:52:09","slug":"episode-17-au-revoir","status":"publish","type":"episode_posts","link":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/?episode_posts=episode-17-au-revoir","title":{"rendered":"Episode 17: Au Revoir"},"content":{"rendered":"

Au Revoir\u00a0<\/strong><\/h4>\n

It was in early-November 2011 that I received a call from the Commission in Paris saying that Ronald\u2019s body had indeed been identified.\u00a0 Now it was a question of receiving his remains in Thonon-les-Bains after the cremation in Paris.<\/p>\n

As a result of earlier planning, I was due to have a weekend in Amsterdam around this time to be present for the first concert outside South African of LJ, the musician who had been supported by the Amani Harmonic Foundation Trust.\u00a0 It was surreal.\u00a0 I was aware of the time for the cremation, which was before the concert.\u00a0 I was able to find a piano and light candles and play for Ronald gently alone behind a curtain in the small auditorium, where an hour later people would be enthusiastically welcoming LJ.\u00a0 Again, J was present and sensitive, placing sunflowers in a vase on the stage.\u00a0 Some dear Dutch friends who had known Ronald were also with me.<\/p>\n

Then returning to Thonon on Monday morning, 21 November 2011, I went straight to the funeral parlor.\u00a0 There I found the dark blue velvet bag with a cream coloured clay urn inside.\u00a0 I placed it on my lap, surprised at its weight.\u00a0 I sat for a long time, knowing I would soon be meeting Ronald\u2019s brother and youngest sister who were expected to arrive by boat, and after having lunch together we would be going out onto the lake \u2013\u00a0 Ronald\u2019s beloved Lac Leman.<\/p>\n

So J was with us for this significant moment.\u00a0 His first meeting of Ronald\u2019s family. The four of us walked down to the quayside, my arm in my brother-in-law\u2019s, his mouth clenched and clearly uncomfortable.\u00a0 The ville de Thonon had made a boat available \u2013 the small orange and blue rescue boat which we often saw going out on the lake before or during storms from the windows of our apartment.\u00a0 A sturdy little craft, la Belle de Rives<\/em>, and I was surprised at how big it was when we clambered aboard.<\/p>\n

There was the captain and his mate.\u00a0 Another man dressed in black from the funeral parlor, with black gloves and unsmiling, had obviously transported the urn, which was perched on a stool.\u00a0 It had quite a presence and both Ronald\u2019s brother and sister were visibly moved when they were confronted with it.\u00a0 A lovely woman from the funeral parlor, whom I had earlier connected with when we finally knew that this was going to happen, had thought of something totally amazing\u2026<\/p>\n

Apart from the huge basket of white roses placed on the deck, which she had managed to find on a Monday morning when absolutely everything is closed,\u00a0 there was a small sound system placed under the captain\u2019s wheel which was now turning as the engines sprung into life and we made our way out into the centre of Lac Leman.<\/p>\n

I felt the fresh crisp air on my cheeks as the craft spun out across the water.\u00a0 It was calm.\u00a0 It was a truly beautiful day for late November.\u00a0 The sun, plutonium, touching everything with an incredible radiance.\u00a0 Each one of us on the boat silent in our own space with our own private thoughts as we sped to the centre.\u00a0 It was about thirty minutes till we reached the point; almost the boundary between France and Switzerland.\u00a0 I could see Nyon clearly now, where we had spent the first half of our life together.\u00a0 We had to stop on the French side of the \u2018boundary\u2019, the boat dropped anchor, and the cadastral points were noted.<\/p>\n

And then our ceremony got underway, unrehearsed, spontaneous as always.\u00a0 Perfect in the moment.\u00a0 Ronald\u2019s siblings had each had time to hold the urn looking pensively out across the lake, and then it was my turn.\u00a0 The velvet bag had been removed.\u00a0 The back of the boat had been dropped so that it was flat with the waterline, which lapped gently.\u00a0 No waves.\u00a0 I stood on the edge of this lowered portion and squatted down, reaching up for the urn which the captain handed me.\u00a0 It was heavy and I felt the extra weight taken up in my thighs as I squatted with the urn in my arms.\u00a0 Then I heard it… the music wafting out across the water.\u00a0 This wonderful woman had the first track of the CD Into the Light<\/em>playing … Au Revoir<\/em>.<\/em>\u00a0 I had given her a copy the week before when we first discussed what might happen.\u00a0 And here it was, happening.\u00a0 Au revoir<\/em>.\u00a0 I whispered quietly to Ronald my farewell, my love, my gratitude… and my music endorsed this outpouring from my soul.<\/p>\n

Then when I was ready, I was ready, and the clearest of waters lay beneath us.\u00a0 The first track had come to an end and that wonderful woman jumped straight to the final track Into the light<\/em>.\u00a0 It was time to allow the urn to slip gently from my embrace, and indeed it was an embrace, and to let it slide slowly into the clear transparent crystalline waters.\u00a0 I watched it spiraling slowly down, seeing it for ages… turning gracefully, tilting, a stream of bubbles rising to the surface.\u00a0 Beautiful.<\/p>\n

I then became aware that I was being held at both shoulders of my coat, one side by the captain and the other side by J.\u00a0 I was completely frozen, stuck, and could not move or raise myself, very unsteady and very close to the water.\u00a0 They had both held me as I lived these final moments with Ronald.\u00a0 I reached both hands up to them, knowing that I could easily topple over into the icy water.\u00a0 And I was lifted up, lifted up as the music found its final notes.\u00a0 Into the Light.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

And then I watched the final magical unfolding as each of the white roses which had been scattered from all around the boat made its way, significantly, decisively, purposefully to a single point now several meters from the boat where the graceful urn made of clay, which would dissolve at some future date, had disappeared[1]<\/sup><\/a>.<\/p>\n

I was convinced that seen from above this interlocking cluster of long-stemmed white roses had formed itself into the shape of a heart.\u00a0 In silence we turned the boat and skimmed back on the silvery grey mirror of Lac Leman with the platinum sun and unforgettable luminosity held in our hearts, and in the knowledge that I had accomplished Ronald\u2019s wish.<\/p>\n

[1]<\/sup><\/a> On arrival back at the port, The captain gave me an envelope with the co-ordinates of where we had stopped in the middle of lac Leman.\u00a0 46\u201923\u2019:611N Longitude E and 006\u201919:159E Latitude N.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Receiving Ronald’s remains and being able to honour his wish to be buried in his beloved lac Leman. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":514,"template":"","categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-512","episode_posts","type-episode_posts","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-part-3-you-yourself-are-the-melody"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/episode_posts\/512","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/episode_posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/episode_posts"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/514"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=512"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=512"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=512"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}