Back In Cape Town at the close of an eventful year, I accepted the reality of this new phase in \u2018getting to know myself\u2019\u00a0 two and a half years after the powerful dream of Ronald and I and his words to me in the train in the Italian countryside.\u00a0 A big part of me was genuinely excited and felt ready.\u00a0 Another smaller part of me, admitted to feeling some trepidation.<\/p>\n
I would soon turn fifty-seven and was confronted with the prospect of my second Saturn Return, scheduled to begin in October 2009 and to last for nine months until August 2010.\u00a0 My astrologer and friend Monica explained that there would be a \u2018lead-in\u2019 time and a significant period afterwards, and so I started to prepare in early 2008, in so far as one can prepare for Saturn\u2019s energy.\u00a0 Saturn, I learnt, would provide powerful lessons\u00a0\u00a0 repeatedly, if I had not learnt from and integrated the lessons of my first Saturn return.\u00a0 I was still painfully aware of what had unfolded during that earlier period when, aged twenty-seven, I had left South Africa for eighteen years of self-imposed exile and a range of life-changing experiences.<\/p>\n
The message from Saturn focused on taking responsibility for my own material resources.\u00a0 For the next two and a half years I needed to mature into my own being, going into this period with a sense of high self-worth.<\/p>\n
Now, however, it was important to look back on the past several years and highlight what had been of value to me and my development, and over the next eighteen months I would need to sort out in my own mind what was important.\u00a0 The memoirs described in the preceding pages and chapters cover the period since I turned fifty and the \u2018lead-in time \u2019seven years\u2026 clearly, there was quite a bit to sift through.\u00a0 My second Saturn return was likely to be challenging.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
For some time over the previous years I had kept notes in various journals, sporadically and unsystematically.\u00a0 But during 2008 I was rigorous, writing almost daily pages in a small but thick leather notebook, which I had bought in Konya and started journaling in there.\u00a0 The writing is very compact, and when I read over the sometimes illegible script from the start to finish of this small book, it took me an entire day and left me reeling with the intensity and diversity of the experiences I had embarked on, responded to and embraced during the year.<\/p>\n
I was left reflecting on the undeniable lived and recorded experience of powerful inner guidance stepping forward and steering me into this growth time.\u00a0 Steering me into encounters with persons who had just the right words for me at this point on my path, this step in my journey.<\/p>\n
One such person was Anneliese Cowley, an Austrian naturopathic\u00a0 healer, whom I had first met when I went to the St Francis Health Centre in mid-1997 after completing my two-year contract at University of Cape Town and prior to my leaving for Bosnia.\u00a0 Since that time, my visits had become annual and in some years even more frequent as I struggled to find my centre and make sense of my life.<\/p>\n
Now, in January 2008, I was on my 13th visit to the St Francis Health Centre and she had become a real mentor.\u00a0 Some might refer to her as my \u2018spiritual director\u2019, although neither she nor I had ever articulated it as such.\u00a0 But it was Anneliese, who in 2001 or 2002 had \u2018seen\u2019 the music waiting and wanting to come through me at the same time as my health seemed to be deteriorating.\u00a0 As she focused intently on the space around me, she said \u2019You must allow the music to come through\u2026 otherwise you will explode\u2019!<\/p>\n
And the music had come through, and I had exploded with the joy of it in 2003 as I recovered from my hysterectomy and played my grandmother\u2019s piano.\u00a0 Since then, there have been more musical developments and on this visit to Anneliese I brought her the CD Calling in the Light<\/em>, which was the outcome of my visit to Boston.\u00a0 She listened to it twice sensing the frequencies and finding the energies good.\u00a0 Together we used this music to accompany the group who walked the labyrinth at the centre, a replica of Chartres, one evening \u2013 a beautiful and soul-enhancing experience for all of us.<\/p>\n During this 10-day stay, I had several sessions with her and from my journal notes it is clear that they were intense and affirming.\u00a0 My kidneys were still showing signs of stress, and as kidneys reflect relationship issues and as I was still dealing with a fair amount of emotional issues relating to Ronald and our recent \u2018separation\u2019, this was not surprising.\u00a0 In fact, my kidney function energy had not been balanced over the past several visits as we consistently noted lower than normal levels of water composition in my \u2018body stats\u2019 readings.\u00a0 But her inputs concerning my \u2018mystical\u2019 experiences since my previous visit were precious, and she sensed my \u2018many helpers and support\u2019.<\/p>\n She said my path would be lonely with much time in solitude, echoing Ronald\u2019s words to me a few months earlier when he had said\u2026 ‘It will be lonely at the top of the mountain\u2019\u2026 but this I already knew at a deep level.\u00a0 There was no other option.\u00a0 I was already on this path.<\/p>\n There was one other significant sharing during this 13th visit.\u00a0 It concerned her extension plans for the centre.\u00a0 I had not mentioned my background as an architect before, but this time I did and asked to see the plans.\u00a0 And so, we discussed pyramids and sacred geometry and my wish for a \u2018quiet space\u2019 \u2013 a meditation and sound sanctuary which she was contemplating building at the centre.\u00a0 The topic of pyramids was particularly resonant as I was to travel to Egypt the following April and had started my research.<\/p>\n And then in closing and before I left she said, \u2018You need to be in the mountains\u2026 to walk in the mountains\u2026\u2019\u00a0 With this affirmation I knew I would be returning to Leysin, the Swiss mountain village, rather than Thonon-les-Bains, when I would leave Cape Town three months later.<\/p>\n Settling back in Kalk Bay, I found much to nourish me as several interesting new threads became apparent and began to play out in my experiences.\u00a0 Following up on the sacred geometry discussions at St Francis Health Centre, I attended a weekend workshop with Ros Pape on this topic, which included the science of vibration and numerology. I was introduced to the Mayan calendar, which I found fascinating; I concentrated on my daily practice of Jin Shin Jyutsu and found increasing harmony in my \u2018body, mind and spirit\u2019, spending time with Rose and Sharon; I was attending yoga classes regularly; and of course there was my daily chanting on the rocks and swim with the sunrise.\u00a0 All in all, very nourishing.<\/p>\n At the same time, although with much to distract me, I was managing to complete my professional commitment to the International Labour Organisation.\u00a0 This entailed interviews using Skype with offices in India, Zambia and Latin America and preparing a background report on technical cooperation for the\u00a0 annual conference to be held in 2009.<\/p>\n On my birthday on 4th February, Monica called and offered me a \u2018solar return\u2019 reading.\u00a0 She also mentioned that she had signed up for a series of \u2018Wisdom plant\u2019 ceremonies with a shaman coming from Peru.\u00a0 I had not yet heard of Ayahuasca except the night before when Rose had mentioned it at my birthday dinner.\u00a0 So, when Monica repeated the word,\u00a0 I was open to exploring further.\u00a0 I did some research on the internet, finding the prospects fascinating, and signed up for the ceremonies which were to be held over two weekends.<\/p>\n At the conclusion of my stay at the St Francis health centre, Annaliese Cowley recommended a homeopath.\u00a0 I had a two-hour session with her which confirmed the validity of my signing up for the ceremonies.\u00a0 During the comprehensive conversation, many of my physical issues were mentioned: osteoporosis, kidney function, varicose veins, hormones etc.\u00a0 But all of this happened almost in passing.\u00a0 In my journal notes, I had written the following.<\/p>\n It was clear that at a deep level – all this is really taken care of and for me, now, the main thing is around my spiritual connection !!\u00a0 I mentioned the Ayahuasca ceremonies coming up, at the end when she asked me about \u2018FEAR\u2019.\u00a0 I realised that one reason for embarking on this is that I want to confront my fear, fear of coming \u2018face-to-face\u2019 with the Divine, maybe the Divine in me, which I am increasingly aware of and opening to.\u00a0 When the doctor heard this, she decided to wait before preparing any remedies until after the ceremonies. I\u2019ll have another appointment the week before I leave for Egypt <\/em>\u2013 when hopefully the remedies will be able to continue and support the vibration of the Ayahuasca.\u00a0 She affirmed the decision I\u2019ve taken and suggested I keep a journal of the experiences, which I had planned to do.<\/em><\/p>\n One other point I had written about in my journal concerned \u2018moving forward with the music!\u2019<\/p>\n A lot of my sharing with her yesterday was around channeling music and finding a focus for this gift <\/em>\u2013 which is lying still inside me over these months since mom passed over.\u00a0 But I know there\u2019s something going on as my Soul is being nourished and the physical container is receiving the care and love and a bit more of what it needs now!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My experience of powerful inner guidance and meeting of significant teachers on my path.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":475,"template":"","categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-473","episode_posts","type-episode_posts","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-part-3-you-yourself-are-the-melody"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/episode_posts\/473","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/episode_posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/episode_posts"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/475"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=473"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=473"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mylisteningheart.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=473"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}